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AskAlex #15

I didn’t have to scroll very far through the first page of AskReddit, in order to find the question I was going to answer today. It’s something that I think I know a lot about and something that everyone goes through every now and then. Therefore, your answer will probably be completely different to mine, so let me know your thoughts! You can also leave any questions you want me to answer in a comment and I’ll consider them for next week.

How do you cope with being lonely?

Working from home while my parents are both out at work and my brother is at uni, I have only my two cats for company between the hours of 8:30am and 5pm, five days a week. It has been this way for seven months now and at first, it was really quite hard. However, I’ve slowly got used to the limited face-to-face contact I have with people and I actually enjoy it now.

Long-term loneliness is actually one of my biggest fears. To grow into an old lady with no partner or companion of some kind is the scariest thought in the world for me and it’s because the feeling of being lonely is my least favourite. Of course, this is probably true for a lot of people. Feeling lonely also means feeling unloved, unwanted and altogether worthless. This often leads to lowering of the self-esteem and ultimately depression. Indeed, there are times when I feel like this and it all gets a bit much for me to take, so I have to take some time out.

Most of my alone time is taken up by work but I always make the effort to do something that I want to do. Whether that’s catching up on blogging or TV, reading a book or simply cuddling a cat, it stops me from realising any loneliness. Keeping myself busy with things that I want to do really helps me relax and simply enjoy my own company. When I finally catch up on blog posts, I get a sense of achievement that masks any lonely feelings. Likewise, my cats and fictional characters keep me company and allow me to sink into another world for a little while.

So, I guess my top tip for beating loneliness is to learn to like yourself a little bit. Allow yourself a bit of what you love and remember that you won’t always be alone. Meeting people and making friends is easier if you’re confident in your own skin, which I’m told you can only achieve by loving yourself. It feels weird advising my readers to raise their self-esteem, when I am by no means a socially-confident person but I do know how important it is to try. However, even though I’m not my own biggest fan sometimes, I have learnt to value my alone me-time.

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