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AskAlex #25

Wow, 25 of these already?! I always feel like my AskAlex posts are the ones that people connect with the most and because of this, I’m really glad that I started doing them. Once again, I have my wonderful boyfriend to thank for that! Quite an interesting one this week that I’m sure will throw up a different answer for everyone who reads it.

What about getting older has surprised you the most?

As I write this, I am three days away from turning 23 so I certainly can’t class myself as an older person yet. However, of course I have already gone through some of the growing up stage and I can honestly say that my current life is nothing like my kid-self thought it would be.

During primary school and indeed a lot of early secondary school, although I liked the idea of being in love and having a relationship with a wonderful adult human, I never thought it would actually happen. I’ve always been very insecure and I was different from the other girls in my class who the boys had crushes on. Looking the way I did (and indeed still do), I was so sure that no decent guy would ever look twice at me. The idea that a boy might be interested in my personality or be attracted to my intellect and bookishness never even occurred to me and naturally, as I’ve got older I’ve realised that looks really aren’t everything.

Looking back now, I laugh at the fact that I was so concerned with looking conventionally beautiful at the age of just eight years old. Indeed, I can see now that young girls who are obsessed with looking like models are tragic creatures and this preoccupation with beauty really shouldn’t be extended to children. I can honestly say that I never thought I’d be happy in the skin I was born into and I’m proud to say that on the mostpart, I am now.

A more recent revelation for me has been in the way I think and feel. I’m almost 23 and yet I still think the way I did when I was 16 albeit with a few improvements. I’m much less quick to give up on relationships and friendships now and I’ve learnt the value of love, which I didn’t really care much for as a teenager. Like most teens, I saw the few boys who did pay me attention as quick confidence boosters and treating them as such is something I’ll forever regret and hate my younger self for. Learning to be more selfless and allowing someone to love me has been the best thing I’ve ever done and brought me the most happiness I’ve yet to experience.

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