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AskAlex #29

I am by no means a guru on any subject but this week’s question really got me thinking and I realised I had quite a lot to say. Obviously everyone’s experiences are different and so I think everyone would have different suggestions and it’s something that we need to consider every now and then in order to improve ourselves as people and partners.

What is something you think everyone should know about being in a relationship?

Being in a long-term relationship can be a rollercoaster. Obviously there are going to be highs and lows but on the whole, it should be fun and comfortable. That is stating the obvious but it’s something that I think some people forget. Repeatedly going back to someone who makes you sad more often than they make you smile is never going to be beneficial to either of you, so see break ups as a blessing and move on with someone better suited.

Hypocrisy is often another flaw in relationships. Never berate your partner for something and then go and do the same thing yourself. Associating with friends outside of the relationship is a common trigger for this and jealousy gets nobody anywhere. Allow your partner the freedom they need and understand that you don’t have to be joined at the hip constantly. If they started getting twitchy when you wanted to socialise with your platonic friends, wouldn’t it get on your nerves?

Another thing I’ve learnt after five years of a relationship is compromise. You’re not always going to agree on everything but finding a healthy balance is so important. Considering the other person’s wants and needs is everything and goes a long way towards both partners’ happiness. It’s all about loving the other person’s quirks and the differences between the two of you as much as what you have in common.

Trust as the basis of the relationship is said by everyone but it really is the key to a lasting romance. If there’s no trust, you’ll end up resenting each other and going crazy trying to keep tabs on them. Just let them breathe, remember that they’ve chosen to be with you and if you really can’t trust them then it’s probably best to call time on the relationship.

 

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